When someone does something that we don’t like and we get angry we turn one problem for us (the thing they did that we don’t like) into many problems for us. They are:
- The original problem.
- The not very pleasant feeling of being angry.
- Our disempowering ourselves, i.e. I feel like this because of you.
- An unclear, irrational mindset not suited to problem resolution.
- The upsetting of the other person with our anger that can lead to endless issues in itself.
Anger is stupid. It has no benefits whatsoever. Some say that if we didn’t get angry about certain things then nothing would change, but if you want change then develop compassion, it is just as powerful a catalyst, and it is much wiser and much more effective. Utilising anger is like unleashing a wild tiger on your enemy – it might harm them, but it’s just as likely to harm any innocent passer-bys as well as turning around and eating you.
Anger isn’t necessary to solve problems, and it isn’t helpful. It clouds our minds, it makes us act irrationally. If you dislike a situation and wish to solve it then it is much more helpful to keep a calm mind – a mind that can choose the best solution.
The root of anger is a silly belief that nothing problematic or difficult should happen to us, and when it does we become affronted – how dare you make my life difficult! But this is the nature of life. What human doesn’t have problems? And we cause others them too. We seem to feel entitled to having everything go our way, nice and easy, and we are insulted and surprised when things don’t, but this is just a wilful ignorance of reality, because for as long as humans have existed – countless billions of us, every single one of us has experienced many, many problems throughout our lives.
It’s built into the fabric of reality. There is no avoiding it. So getting upset and making your life even harder at totally natural and normal events makes little sense. It is much better to acknowledge what the nature of reality is, to acknowledge that challenges will arise, and therefore be prepared to meet them with a calm mind.