Did UK prime minister David Cameron rape his disabled son to death?


True love waits, Dave

Probably not.

I don’t know.

What do you think?

Maybe he just rapes other children. Who knows. There’s no reason to believe that he does. Although, it has to be said that, when revelations came out a-spewing that certain politicians were raping children, he wasn’t so quick on the gun as he was with, say, the ‘swift and firm’ justice meted out to the London rioters of Summer 2011. No, those pesky sneaker stealers managed to top trump even the good old child rapists.

Just saying.

Better than raping children

Some have accused David Cameron of a cover-up, his response was ‘conspiracy theories’, but, I don’t think that hand plays anymore, Dave. His response is understandable, though. I mean, the truth of the situation is so unbelievably and utterly disgustingly depraved, mind-bending and reality-shattering, that, he really does have every reason to stall, cover and minimise as much as he can, because, well, who wants truth and justice for children who have been raped by the elected politicians of the UK people?

And, I mean, really, really?

Oh. You do, do you?

Ahh, but… do you? I mean, really? Really really? Really, really, really, really? Let’s talk about YOU. Let’s talk about your outrage. Let’s talk about the action that you’ve been taking to expose the truth and bring justice for those children. Let’s talk about the stand you’ve made and the streets you’ve marched on and the government you’ve toppled and…

You’ve done nothing, have you?

I don’t mind if I don’t have a mind

I mean, we just had a fucking GENERAL ELECTION one year ago – kind of our chance to make our thoughts heard and all that jazz – and, whilst I heard a lot of thick-minded ‘immigrants boo-hiss’, the volume was noticeably down / muted on the old ‘politicians are raping our children boo-hiss’.

Maybe it’s me. Are my thoughts becoming a little unwieldy here? Am I stepping out of line? I feel like I’m making a big deal out of this. But that can’t be right. Personally, I feel like I’m making a molehill out of a mountain, because, whilst truthful words matter, for sure, it’s nowhere near enough, really, is it? It’s just all I have right now – my alphabet weapon and a vain hope to stir you / someone / please, God, someone, up and get you fighting back.

I don’t know. Reality bites hard these days and everyone is donning +150 armour. I understand. Truth is rude and inconvenient. The truth takes the soft edge off a hard earned evening, curled up in front of the fire, bottle of red and some good TV. I know. I get it. I like The Wire as much as the next Game of Thrones fan (The Wire rules all, btw). But politicians have been forcing their erect penises into the under-developed vaginas and anuses of small children and, well, they’ve been doing it on OUR watch, which kind of makes, erm… US responsible. That’s us, not the United States.

Coronation Street with tits and dragons

I know, I know, how rude, how inconvenient, how utterly offensive and depraved, how diabolical. It’s okay. Go pop the kettle on. Let normal return.

It’s a sad and surreal state of affairs. Maybe there’s a twist coming and it turns out we’ve all been dreaming. But that means we’d all have to be stood in a shower together. Or, maybe, this is real and David Cameron rapes children… rapes babies… rapes dead babies… rapes decomposing babies… rapes ashes of babies… rapes the DNA strands of caveman babies…?? The funny thing (in an un-haha sense) is that it’s not like that ain’t on the table these days. It happens. Some people like fucking dead babies and some of those people might be elected politicians.

Personally speaking, I don’t think that David Cameron does rape children. Asides from that austerity thing with all the child poverty, food banks and suicides, he seems like a thoroughly decent chap. Oh, and then there’s the fox hunting and the bombing brown people and the secret court trials and the snooping laws and the TTIP, and I’m sure there’s something else – oh tax credits… but, other than that, a jolly good bloke.

The Queen has high level security screening to protect her. Jimmy Savile’s behavior was an ‘open secret’ at the BBC. So, how did the Queen’s security not know about his behavior?

But, then again, that is what we thought about the others. I don’t know what a child rapist looks like (sans Jimmy Savile). So, who knows. Maybe David Cameron does rape children. Maybe he raped his disabled son and that’s why he died. I don’t know. That’s a despicable thing to say, right? Truly outrageous. Beyond the pale. BUT – and bare with me for just a moment on this one – is it any more despicable and outrageous than, hmm, I don’t know…


I thought not.

Terrible thing to say, though, just frightful…

You know you live in an insane world when spoken truth is more offensive than the hells of which it speaks.

I’m fucked

Maybe i’m being hard on you. Maybe things have changed. Maybe people are ready to hear truth. I don’t know. I guess we will see. But, let me be clear, if the sting in your precious eyes is a little too bitter from such said truths then that is, unfortunately for you, TOUGH-FUCKING-LUCK. You don’t get to live in blissful la-la land no more. Not whilst children are being raped, not whilst wars are fought in your name on false reasons, not when 22,000 children under the age of five die every fucking day because of poverty, not when the very environment that we and countless generations to come depend upon for their very survival is raped because, well, I don’t even know why. Cos I don’t see anyone any the happier for all this utter insanity. Anyway

Instead, I ask you to imagine David Cameron pinning his disabled son to the floor, smothering his anus with an expensive lubricant (aloe-vera extract), before repeatedly forcing his erect penis into his hemorrhaging and traumatised son. I know, I know, such an awful thing to say… quite unconscionable. But THIS is child rape. THIS is what YOUR elected leaders have been accused of doing. And THIS is what you… YOU, YOU, YOU… have been doing NOTHING about…



You should be.