Why (some) over 65’s shouldn’t vote / should die

According to the latest ICM poll 64% of over 65’s will vote Tory in the coming General Election.

It is absurd in the extreme that human beings, many of whom will be dead within 20 years, are allowed to have their personal selfish desires and (frequently) outdated and wrong ideas determine what kind of world the younger generations will inherit. These are the same older generations responsible for rampant environmental destruction, ongoing poverty and inequality, and numerous ongoing conflicts around the world that have killed and maimed countless fellow human beings. So, any notion that these older generations are somehow older and wiser is an utter nonsense (although, in fairness, it is quite smart to set up a system that allows you to live the good life for your whole life, only to die just before you experience the dire consequences of said system).

Actually, this is kinda pretty.

Read: Corbyn is wrong! The war on terror has been good for us

The future of the country and the planet exists in the minds of the young. It is the role of the older generations to nurture the ideas and minds of the young, to help them to refine and understand their instincts and thoughts, and to contribute nuance and insight that is only gained through life experience and education. It is not the role of the older generations to determine what future the young will have through voting for their own personal wants and desires.

What we need now from the older generations is sacrifice. You’ve had your fun and you’ve fucked us over, but, before you go rot in red felt, why not put aside what is good for you (you can live and die without the holiday in the Cotswold, but we’ll let you keep the heating on… unless you’re already poor, of course, in which case, keep calm and carry on!) and use whatever useful attributes you have to help the young create a better world? The fact is that, the young cannot do this alone. Ideas and attitudes are not enough. The passion of the young for a better world is wonderful, but it must be reinforced and tempered by an understanding of just how complex and difficult the world is… this is not to rebuke their enthusiasm and knock them down, but to refine it into something potent, profound, and truly world changing.

Sacrifice is noble.

Read: Katie Hopkins Needs Our Compassion

The young are naïve, ill-informed, and, frequently, embarrassingly dumb (well, at least I was)… but they CARE, and that care is what the world needs so, so, so fucking badly. It is your job to help to turn that care into true compassion and meaningful, effective action. Because, otherwise, we really, really could be done for as a species. I know you’re nearly dead and all, but do you really want to merrily skip off this mortal coil leaving this world behind for your children? If, in this world, and, if, in this general election, you are voting for what is good for you (Vote Tory!), then so much better that you die than inflict your petty and selfish want for shinier things and comfier perches onto the shoulders of generations yet to even be born.

If, however, you are 65+ and you do care – and I know that there are many, including, of  course, Jeremy Corbyn – then don’t vote for your pension and your holiday budget, but, rather, for what is good for all. And, most importantly, vote for what is good for all those with their whole lives ahead of them. And, even more importantly, help the young. They / we (I’m 34 so I’m not sure I count.. it’s a weird age, I’m sure I’m old but I’m reassured that I’m not quite there yet) need what you have, and that is the appreciation of nuance that runs through every facet of life that, otherwise, can only be appreciated and understood by getting old. Educate us/ them!

‘Grandpa, please don’t fuck me in the proverbial ass’

Read: War – Not as bad as it looks

So, please, share! Help! But share to help refine their ideas, not to inflict your own, because – now soak this up good – the young do not care what you think. And do you know why? Because the young see the world afresh. The young are not conditioned and surrendered to the bullshit yet. And the young – inexperienced and naïve as they might be – know full well that the bullshit that is rampant is the bullshit of your making. So, share and be humble. Don’t even begin to pretend you’ve seen it all and you know best, because, one brief glimpse of the world as it is, is enough for all the young minds to explicitly know that you had no idea what the fuck you were doing, and no amount of old age, life experience and purported wisdom have done anything to save you or our planet from the looming disasters of your ignorance and your greed.

Apologies to all the over 65’s who are nice and voting Corbyn.

Corbyn is wrong! The war on terror has been good for us

The Labour leader said there must be more money for law enforcement, as he suggested Britain’s intervention in wars abroad had fuelled the risk of terrorism at home.

“Many experts, including professionals in our intelligence and security services, have pointed to the connections between wars our government has supported or fought in other countries and terrorism here at home,” he said.

His comments drew immediate criticism from the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats, with Sir Michael Fallon, the defence secretary, accusing Corbyn of “very muddled and dangerous thinking” that implied blame on Britain for somehow bringing the Manchester terror attack on itself.

I’m with Fallon. I see no reasonable, logical, emotional or spiritual connection between us dropping bombs on them and their desire to retaliate by bombing us. I mean, everyone knows that all human beings are perfect and holy, devoted practitioners of impeccable forgiveness, with endless patience and an eternal resistance to anger and pain. So it’s not even possible – logically or emotionally – for a human being who has had their children blown limb from limb, their parents burnt to a shrivel, and their local Tesco Extra (or whatever they’ve got over there) bombed into a temporary and inconvenient closure to then wish vengeance upon the perpetrators. It’s unfathomable!

I take this man seriously

Read: Why over 65’s shouldn’t vote / should die

I mean, who cares, right? We’re all chilled here. Ain’t no biggie. And, yet, here’s Jamie Corbyn suggesting that there could be a connection. Well, I say ‘hell no, Mr Corbyn… hell no‘. We ain’t called GREAT Britain for a laugh. The clue is in the name… we’re great, we do great things, always have done, always will do. There’s no Fabulous France, is there? No Super Switzerland, right? Just Great Britain… being great, doing great, feeling great. And the world looks on in awe.

Great even for black people

Read: Treasure Your Parents

You know, I remember a time when two burglars broke into the family home. I must have been 10 at the time. My Mum was tied up and raped and my Dad was tortured with boiling water (from the stove too, it took them ages to find the matches, my Dad valiantly refused to locate them for them, and, then, well, you know what they say about a ‘watched stove’! ) because the burglars – wrongly, as it turned out – had believed my parents had valuable jewels in the house. But the only jewel in our household was the jewel of universal love for all human beings – a jewel shared by all human beings.

Fortunately, my bedroom was up in the attic space so I remained safe from rape and torture, although, perfectly privy to the sounds of all the ‘goings on’. And, you know, I have to say, I was totally chilled about it all. I really didn’t mind my Mum being raped or my Dad being tortured at all. Because, I’m a human being, and far, far evolved from petty emotions like anger, horror, terror and pain. So I cracked on with an eight man team battle on Tekken 3.

I always started with Hwoarang, he had incredible kicking ability that could quickly accelerate into a devastating flow, and, if my memory serves me correctly, I think this was the first time I did the ‘full sweep’, i.e. with Hwoarang alone I beat all eight of the computers fighters! God I was good back then. Fast, sharp, great defence, and, although my friends decried my ‘basic moves’ (I had no time for combo’s, I wanted the kill, not a show), I became almost unbeatable for a good six months at my peak. Good times. Really.

My man

Read: To vote or not to vote

Anyway, my Mum was raped for 2 hours and my Dad ended up in hospital for 14 weeks, but I didn’t bat an eyelid, just cracked on with my Tekken 3 training regime (5 hours a day), and my parents weren’t fussed at all. In fact, I seem to remember my Dad being more perturbed about the stove being left on! Because, you see, this sort of thing – touch of rape, dollop of torture – doesn’t bother us human beings.

Me with my parents the very next day

Read: Did David Cameron Rape His Disabled Son to Death?

So, I get it. From experience. I know that Iraqis, Afghans, Syrians, and all the other ones, don’t give a shit about their parents, partners, children, friends, selves etc. being mutilated, disfigured and killed, because this is not the sort of thing that bothers human beings. We are whole. We are one. We know that life is an illusion – no more real, no more substantial than a giant virtual reality game. So why be bothered? Plus, don’t Muslims have Mohammed, and didn’t Mohammed tell them to be peaceful? And, isn’t it just that easy to be and do something once you’ve been told?

‘It’s been a sunny day so i’ll meet you at the cemetery gates, Keats and Yeats are on your side…’

Read: Conservative radio host Alex Jones gets into ANOTHER scuffle at the RNC after crashing the set of the left-wing ‘Young Turks’

Fact is, these terrorist attacks are incomprehensible. No-one know why it is happening. It’s an unexplainable phenomena that can’t be explained. Personally, I think this might be a case for Mulder and Scully! You see, I’m chilled, and quick to humour / reference pop culture. Cos I’m perfect and holy, you’re perfect and holy, and our world is perfect and holy, and if you want to bomb my home, kill my children, or even rape my Mum and torture my Dad, you’ll find no anger or desire for vengeance from me, nor any human beings. Nuh uh. So suck on that evil alien overlords and your plans for world domination. You’ll never rile us with your big lasers and impenetrable force fields. We’ll just love you, forgive you, sooth your pains, and return you to your home planet lighter, happier and more flowery.

Fuck yeah! Classic 90’s

I’ve lost track of what I’m saying, but, basically, suck a minging cock, Corbyn, you big old dick monkey.